This Week's Barks

Theme 7
One-Timer Faves & Offing the Regulars

"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we were in double reruns so I opted to do a random theme-based action, and let you kill off some regulars. Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

cemetery dingochick: Xander:Angel :: (Xander is to Angel as..):

   Angel is to Spike.
   Oil is to water.
   Chickens are to..another chicken.
   Meat is to potatoes.
   Sarah Michelle Gellar is to Susan Lucci.
   Mulder is to Krycek.

The Winner: Sarah Michelle Gellar is to Susan Lucci.

Who are these people??

Snyder and karma..

In a past life, Snyder might have been:

   Edgar Cayce.
   An alien.

The Winner: An alien.

So, what's changed?

It would be fun to see:

   A scene take place at the supermarket.
   Oz as a child.
   Joyce's art gallery.
   Willow's dad.
   Angel or Spike eating picnic-type food. (You know, pie is considered a picnic food...)

The Winner: Angel or Spike eating picnic-type food.

Ketchup included.

Next season, we might see:

   Much less of Joyce.
   Cheesy commercials for the Angel spinoff.
   Faith wailing. Not necessarily on vamps. But wailing.
   Goats. Lots of 'em.

The Winner: Goats. Lots of 'em.

They could bring cheese to the picnic.

I still don't get:

   Why Amy's a rat.
   Why they don't just declare Sunnydale "Area 51" or something.
   The whole leather pants thing.
   Whatever happened to Wendell and Owen Thurman and Lance.

The Winner: Why they don't just declare Sunnydale "Area 51" or something

Because it wouldn't be as much fun to see Spike driving over that sign?

RERUN BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.

I would most like to have dinner with:

   Willow's family.
   Buffy and Joyce.

The Winner: Buffy and Joyce

And can I just express some surprise that the unsanitary Amyrat choice garnered many votes? Bleah.

The Master was cool because:

   He liked Buffy's dress.
   He had fruit punch mouth.
   He was all about sharing.
   He told Colin he had something in his eye. (Okay it was his finger, but still).

The Winner: He liked Buffy's dress.

"The Power!"

Of the ones here, my favorite Buffy lingo is:

   [anything] + much?
   Rectal surgery.

The Winner: [anything] + much?

Oz probably preferred:

   Sesame Street.
   Electric Company.

The Winner: Electric Company.

Favorite One-Timers & Offing A Regular/Recurring Character

This week, I asked you which was your favorite one-timer on the show, and why? You also had the option of answering: Which main or recurring character would you most like to see offed, and why, and how? Some of you answered both. The one-timer question resulted in many different answers. The "offing" question ran the gamut as well so let's see what we've got this week, byte-wise. You'll pretty much be able to tell which answer goes with which question..but I'll probably start off posting the one-timer fave responses.

But first -- Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all, but this week I'm posting a lot. Hope the authors don't mind being put up here, and some may be abridged. And again, no name, no bark byte recognition (even though I still like reading what you thought; make it easy on me and put a name on there, please! Thanks!)

Colleen said:

I liked Jack O'Toole. Sure he may have been subliterate undead food for wereOz, but he was cool. He had a shiny knife named Katie, he knew how to party with the boys, and he sure could bake a cake!

Ophelia the Fruitfly Slayer said:

I liked Michael the Warlock. He was interesting. Guys in the occult just don't get much press, which is really too bad. Michael should be helping Willow try to turn Amy back into a person.

From SuperPixie:

Ms. Barton. 'Cause she was hip. Even if it was 'cause of the candy.

Queen Jenna said:

The human-like demon Faith stole the Books of Ascension from...he cracked me up!

From Gyulah (Mastah of All that is Pointless):

My favorite onetimer was Herbert. Cuz he was crunchy.

Okay, not really. In reality that honor would have to go to Owen Thurman. He was so incredibly clueless, but I *loved* it when he bought Buffy's excuse (for standing him up) about not having any clocks, and that he actually carried around a pocket watch.

Redbeard said:

I liked the crated vamp [Zackary Kralik] Buffy killed in "Helpless"-- he was so...honest...about being deranged and a vampire and Slayer bait. He reminded me of Shakespeare's Richard III in a "God, it's fun to be evil!' sort of way.

(BTW, you're really dating yourself with a reference to Zoom. And I'm dating myself by pointing it out...)

Hey! I dunno about you, but I'm not dating anyone right now, least of all myself! Heh.

From Queen C:

Whistler. Yeah, technically he was on 2 episodes, but it was a two-parter, so in my world that counts as one. (Hey, same here!)

Whistler just rocked. And I personally didn't really see a problem with how he dressed, but hey, Angel's entitled to his opinion. I liked the whole creepy messenger, demon sent to balance good and evil thing.

belle said:

Ted. ("That's right, you killed me, little lady. Do we have anything to say about that? Are we sorry?")

Okay, time for some offing.

Jeff said:

...I would like to see Jonathon turned into a vampire, mostly to give him some backbone. And then have Spike stake him by accident.

From Dodge:

Off Angel, with a dart, in the library.

TR@CY said:

Scott Hope, damn the way he dissed Buffy!

Um, this is for the offing category, right? Cos I can see where some might be all like, way to go, man!

MadHatter said:

Okay. In true MadHatter fashion, I am going to be complicated and combine the questions. I will let you know how I would like to see my favorite one time character violently ended. Heh.

Although I would personally rather take a maggot bath with the Hillside Strangler than ever see Quentin again, I would, however, love to see him meet his oh so richly deserved end by being eviscerated with a rusty tool from a dentist's office.

No, really, MH., tell us how you really feel, k? Heh.

From Jane, the Frog on the Wall:

Who would I like to kick the bucket. Hmmm...Angel. You know it's a tough choice, but I'd saay...Angel. All he does is sit around and mope, but when he's not moping he's brooding, he never does anything, and oh, yeah, did I mention that he would look really great on the end of one of Faith's stakes?

Wiccan Cat said:

If Drusilla was offed, I'd be one happy Cat....Drusilla is just the most annoying character ever on Buffy, with her dead daisies, and her Princess self. She's even worse than Joyce! And how would I have Dru offed? Spike would have to do it. He should realize that she's just a big ho (not to mention a raving looney), and tell her, "I have an unlife, y'know!" And with that, stake in the heart. And boy, I am really getting way too much happiness out of imagining this! And while I'm here ranting, do you know where I can buy a dress like the one Willow wore in "Choices"? I loved it!

Nope, but you could probably get in touch with the wardrobe person on the show and ask? Or if anyone else out there has an idea, E-mail me.

sarah said:

I would love to see Whiny Boy- um, I mean Angel- go bye-bye. And hey, it looks like I got my wish! Suddenly I feel all powerful! Somebody spank me!

From Seesa:

I wanted to see Snyder offed. I saw Snyder offed. I'm a happy camper.

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