This Week's Barks

Theme 10
Kendra, Messrs. Pointy & Gordo!

"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we were in double reruns so I opted to do a theme-based action about some other characters and stuff. Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

cemetery dingochick: Joyce probably met Pat:

   At her art gallery.
   At the grocery store.
   At an AA meeting.
   At Giles's house.

The Winner: At her art gallery.

Because who really believes that "book store" cover story? I mean, did you see them saucin' it up in the kitchen? Actually only one person caught the book thing, which admittedly, I forgot about!

The title that best fits Kendra is:

   Killed By Death
   The Dark Age

The Winner: Killed By Death.

No one voted for

After the failed vamp debacle, Marvin (Diego) probably:

   Enrolled in business courses at the local community college.
   Kept the cape.
   Moved to Los Angeles.
   Died from eating tainted meat.

The Winner: Kept the cape.

Hm. They should have him date Lily.

When he's not being a villain, Ethan:

   Smokes cigars.
   Reads Harpers.
   Listens to Black Sabbath.
   Shops at Armani.
   Thinks about Joyce.
   Devises evil schemes.

The Winner: Devises evil schemes.

So...pretty much evil 24/7, then..?

This summer, Scott Hope probably:

   Went to band camp.
   Got a rash.
   Thought about Buffy.
   Took dance lessons.
   Drowned in a kiddie pool.

The Winner: Drowned in a kiddie pool.

Scott's not big with this crowd, apparently.

SHORT RERUN BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.


   Should take steroids.
   Should learn how to make lemonade.
   Should wear that black cap thing more often.
   Should get rid of Mr. Gordo.

The Winner: Should learn how to make lemonade.

That cool refreshing drink.

Kendra, Messrs. Pointy & Gordo

This week, I asked you two questions, you could answer either or both. "You're Kendra facing Dru in Becoming part 1. What are you thinking? (It can be anytime during the fight or during her death scene.)" Question 2: "Would you rather that Mr. Pointy or Mr. Gordo come to life? Why?"

Many amusing answers for the Kendra/Dru one (loved your alls -- dang, gotta lose that Southernismy thing, don't know where to put the apostrophe! -- accents)...and the Gordo/Pointy one seemed to split...very interesting ideas. And so many about inviting Angel to play darts! Wow! Er, heh. So...let's see what we've got this week, byte-wise. As usual, it'll be pretty simple to see which one(s) folks answered.

But first -- Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all, but this week I'm posting a lot. I think once the season starts, and we do ep-based actions, I may choose fewer to post. We'll see. Anyhoo, hope the authors don't mind being put up here, and some may be abridged. And again, no name, no bark byte recognition (even though I still like reading what you thought; make it easy on me and put a name on there, please! Thanks!)

Lise said:

This is what Kendra would be thinking right before Dru sliced and diced (well -- just sliced)]

"Oh F..."

[Much in the style of Vamp Will -- except subvocally.]

BuffySummers81 said:

"Zat girl needz a manicure."

From Gyulah:

"*Knew* I should'n' ha' left Mr. Pointy to de other slayer..."

Jeff said:

"Did I forget to turn the stove off at home?"

From Katherine:

...I'm thinking that for someone who has spent her entire life training as a slayer I'm a crap fighter. Drusilla left herself open for THAT LONG before she even started her hypnotizing routine thing and I didn't move a muscle!

Queen C said:

"That was me favorite throat. That was me *only* throat."

From Wyatt:

"Her accent is worse than mine."

"Now Mr. Trick will know that there are no brothers or sisters in Sunnydale."

"I flew all that way for this?"

GypAng said:

"At least she didn't ruin me favorite shirt."

"Yes, she is going to kill me. It shouldn't suprise anyone who watches the show because I didn't come with a last name, therefore, I am expendable." (Deep inner thoughts only the most devote to BVtS could hear.)

Sunny said:

"I wonder if I could take her clothes after I've killed her..."

From MadHatter:

"Aw mon, I don't know what's worse, de fact dat de only hint of cultural diversity in dis town is getting offed, or dat I'm getting replaced by dat hose beast Faith!"

Pigs    Pigs    Pigs    Pigs    Pigs

Redbeard said:

I would rather Mr. Gordo come to life. Just think, he could tell us all about Buffy's Dorothy Hamill phase!


Oh, definitely Mr. Pointy. The tales he could tell...namely, where exactly Kendra was from to have such a bizarre accent.

From DJ:

I think that Mr. Gordo should come to life, and, enraged by years of being plush and cuddly, turn on Buffy with fearsome fangs.

I also think that Buffy should give Mr. Pointy to Willow in honor of her floating pencil in the back slaying. She can learn to levitate something extra sharp, not just the Dixon-Ticonderogas.

sandra m said:

Mr. Pointy. You wouldn't have to hold him to stake a vamp, you could point and say, "Hey, that one."

LoriAlpha said:

Mr. Pointy is a stick and has no eyes, no mouth, no arms or legs. How would you even know he was alive? Could he start rolling across the table? They would probably think it was the ghost of Jenny Calendar or someting equally off.

Now that I have put way too much thought into this I have decided it might be funnier to see Mr.Pointy rolling down the hall after Willow or Buffy with some adventurous music playing in the backround.

From Steph:

Mr. Gordo, definitely. He's a cute little pig. He got along with Angel, too...Maybe they could play darts. I wonder if he could hold the darts, though, he's kinda like Kakistos in the hoof respect...

From sarah:

I'd rather Mr Gordo came to life, because weapons used for killing demons are generally very antisocial.

From Ophelia the Fruitfly Slayer:

I'd rather see Mr. Pointy come to life. I'd like to know how he feels about being shoved into dead guys all the time...Maybe he'd revolt against the whole slaying thing...or maybe he'd invite Angel to play darts.

Little Willow said:

I'd rather have Mr. Gordo come to life. Think of the possibilities: At 8 PM, Joss finally does a BtVS cameo when he admits to (and embraces) his pig issues after all these years. Then, at 9 PM, Mr. Gordo treks to L.A. and Angel finally gets to spend more quality time with the pig. Talk about New Oink Tuesday.

If you want to see what Bark Bytes have come before, visit The Bark Bytes Archives or Dingo Action Archives..I forgot what I named it... Actually I remember what I named it this time. But we all know how I enjoy running gags.

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Thanks to Stacy K. M. for the pic of the pigs!

This page last updated on September 5, 1999.

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