This Week's Barks


"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, you told me what you thought about Helpless...Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

dingochick: Buffy can be compared to Mary Tyler Moore because:

   Neither one of them could throw a decent party.
   They have that solo working gal thing going for them.
   Giles hits the sauce, just like Lou Grant did.

The Winner: Neither one of them could throw a decent party.

So true. Although, that Giles/Lou Grant comparison is making me snicker right about now.

I know they say you can't believe everything you hear, but ...supposedly Kralik's doing a show in Vegas this weekend. Anyhoo...

The tune Kralik had in his head was probably:

   Sleepwalk (Santo & Johnny).
   Crazy for You (Madonna).
   Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin).
   Crazy (Patsy Cline).

The Winner: Crazy (Patsy Cline).

Y'know, I never thought anyone would choose the Madonna one, but three folks did. And, much as I enjoy the "Sleepwalk" tune, it's an instrumental, so...if he was humming that it wasn't 'cause he couldn't remember the words. I just now thought of that. So I shared.

She didn't have a big part this time, but somehow she always manages to leave an impression...

Judging from this episode, Cordelia:

   Probably didn't write that paper on Bosnia.
   Thought of Xander when she beat up on that guy.
   Asked Buffy for gas money.
   Never figured out what the hell was going on.

The Winner: Never figured out what the hell was going on.

Hm..I can't see Cordy asking anyone other than her daddy for money. She joked.

So, you think Oz coulda opened up that jar of peanut butter in the last scene??

Oz should:

   Figure out what's up with Willow's Snoopy obsession.
   Read more Superman comics.
   Take Buffy to the Ice Capades.
   Invite Angel to play darts.

The Winner: Figure out what's up with Willow's Snoopy obsession.

The omnipresent "darts" option came in second. Given the scene we saw them in in(Doppelgangland), I think that some Oz/Angel bonding might be quite the interesting thing to watch.

It wasn't Bad Eggs, but this episode made me think of lots of other movies.

Which movie did this episode bring to mind for you?:

   To Kill a Mockingbird.
   One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
   Any Elvis movie.

The Winner: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I pretty much could go with all of these, except the Elvis option. I really didn't think of any while I was watching it.

RERUN BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.

What did they do with all those Polaroids of Joyce?:

   Gave 'em to Cordelia to burn.
   Sent them to Hank with an accusatory note.
   They plastered Snyder's house with them.
   Saved them to put on their Xmas cards.

The Winner: Saved them to put on their Xmas cards.

Too funny, I literally keep picturing that one of Joyce they did a close-up of, and imagining that on someone's holiday cards just makes me laugh. Yeah, I could be quiet now.

The best lines in this episode went to:


The Winner: Kralik!!!!

Xander and Oz:

   Can't stop Willow from wearing hats indoors.
   Won't budge from their positions on kryptonite.
   Secretly enjoy the heinous Buffy birthday parties.
   Can't stop Joyce from bogarting the cheesy chips.

The Winner: Won't budge from their positions on kryptonite.

I enjoyed the Superman/kryptonite references some of you guys sent in...

What Did You Think of This Episode?

Then finally, your non-dingo-guided opinion about the episode. Most of you dug the furthering of the Giles/Buffy relationship story, and a lot of you enjoyed Kralik as the vampire foe, and mentioned liking all of Jeff Kober's work. (Sadly, I don't believe I've seen any of it...) A couple of you thought this was one of the best episodes ever, and a few thought, eh.

This week there were yet again plenty of fun answers. Can't post 'em all, unfortunately. But here're some of 'em. Hope the authors don't mind. Some may be abridged so I could put more of 'em up..Oh! And a few I wanted to put up but they had no names on 'em, and I don't know about you, but I'm sick of that guy "Anonymous" getting all the credit..

Here's something you don't get to see much of...a song, from one of the Bytes' better-known contributors, Rob. You knew this was gonna get posted, didn't you, Rob? Heh. I really love this, thanks!

Rob said:...[since the] parallel between Buffy and Mary Tyler Moore was absolutely hilarious, I made up a song for you! *giggle* (sung to the tune of "Love is All Around" - the theme song to the Mary Tyler Moore Show):

Who can beat up demons with a smile?
Who can take a make-shift stake, and turn it into something worth while?
Well it's you girl and you should know it
With each kill and prevention of the apocalyse you show it
Buffy's all around so you better tail it
She can kick your ass, and even macrame it
She might just kill you after all
She might just kill you after all!
The end. And no, I'm not on crack, I'm just messed up. :-)

Y'know, a lot of folks claimed not to be on drugs or crazy this week...

Hitomi Terwilliger said: And while it's not exactly part of my thoughts on the episode, I'd like to point out that there was a crimson (yes, they called it crimson) Kryptonite that took away Superman's powers. It turned out to be a chunk of fluorescent rock that Myxysptlk whipped up. Just felt like sharing.

Hey, that's what we're here for, yeah? Only I get to share more. Heh.

Paul said: ...a great script that shows just how twisted the Watcher Council is. I hope they explore that more next season.

You're not alone in that thought..

Jonathan said: I want to see an episode where Buffy goes to England to kick the collective Butt of the Watcher Council.

From SuperG: Well, my friend and I wondered: even if she lost her super powers, wouldn't she still have the strength of someone who worked out all the time? Why bother with the training?
Hm. Now that's entirely pointy...

Little Willow said: was good to see Buffy contemplate an alternate future if she lost Slaying Rights (You have the right to slay vampires and demons. If you lose this right, well, blame Giles, and throw stuff at him) like WHAT's MY LINE?...Throw stuff at Giles like PROPHECY GIRL...Have Xander call her 'Little Lady' like TED... I'd ramble more but then you'd thwack me.
No I wouldn't. People underestimate the value of a good ramble. And besides, you sent me DARTS!! Heh. (Been meanin' to thank you for that.)

Goddess Minerva said: This ep. was great... uhh... I don't feel like rambling so I'll just leave it at that. :)
Okay, and at least you didn't think I'd thwack you for it, GM! Heh.

MadHatter wrote: Kralik, woo baby. That's how I likes my men, locked up, looney, and poppin' brain pills like Mentos. Swoon. And I personally think Kralik and Angelus should play darts, preferably at Quentin's head.

Redbeard observed: Kralik's tune has gotta be "Crazy"--after all, country music is "the music of pain"...

FurryRabbits said: I loved it (again), because I find the last scene between Buffy and Giles very touching, but I DO think Giles seems strangely evil in the first 1/3 of the episode, and I DO wish that Oz would invite Angel to play darts.
You and me both!

Steph said: Wonder if Willow ever did cruise past the concept of Giles being fired...

Yaaa, I wanted to put more up, but alas, I didn't. If you didn't make the bytes this time out, it ain't 'cause you bite. Although, I suppose if you're eating something....Anyhoo...

If you want to see what Bark Bytes have come before, visit The Bark Bytes Archives or Dingo Action Archives..I forgot what I named's pretty small right now. Be sure to take this week's Dingo Action!

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This page last updated on April 22, 1999.