This Week's Barks

Guest Hosts #1

(Xander, Cordy, Willow, Spike, Buffy & Angel)

"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we were in double reruns, so some of the Scooby Gang et al. came on board to help me out. Thanks to them for not killing each other.....And thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

Xander: My dating Cordy for a year can only be attributed to:

   Living on the Hellmouth for too long.
   The overpowering lack of oxygen to my brain after Ampata kissed me..
   The way she sucked me in by bringing me doughnuts.

The Winner: Living on the Hellmouth for too long.

Xander: Y'know, it coulda been the corn dogs too, now that I think about it...

Turnabout is fair play? Here Cordy steps up to the plate: (No, Cordy, put the plate down!)

Cordelia: I'm sorry you won't be in my future, Xander. But maybe I can relieve my pain by:

   Forgetting I ever met you.
   Getting sucked dry by the latest fang gang to hit Sunnydale.
   Thinking of you everytime I see someone scrubbing toilets at the Bronze.

The Winner: Thinking of you everytime I see someone scrubbing toilets at the Bronze.

Cordy: "As if! I've never even seen anyone scrubbing toilets there...Yuck."

Okay, that's not working out. Where's the sane little witch? Sane Little Witch..Report to Stage 5!

Willow: "If Xander had given me a Pez witch, the occasion would have been...":

   That he passed his math test 'cause I was his study buddy.
   That I let him practice his dating lines on me.
   Oh, right, like Xander's ever going to give me something.

The Winner: Oh, right, like Xander's ever going to give me something.

Y'know, they say the truth shall set you free. Guess Willow'

That classy blonde vamp. Okay maybe not classy. But he does have his own wheels. Not from Uncle Rory, either.

Spike: "Angel's show is going to fail because:"

   I won't be on it.
   The show's not called Angelus, after all. I mean that might do okay, at least he's got a personality, the wanker...
   Contrary to popular belief, LA's not a demon's playground.
   I've blackmailed all the Nielsen families.

The Winner: I won't be on it.

That's entirely pointy. Although his human counterpart (read: James Marsters) was on Millennium and it didn't seem to help that show much either....

Sorry, can't concentrate. I made the mistake of buying Boost,'s kinda gnarly..bleah. Plus it makes me tired. Did I mention I hate false advertising? This stuff's supposed to boost your energy levels, not bring 'em down...sigh.

Spike: "The reason I like the Slayer's mum is":

   She's not as dumb as she looks.
   She took an axe to my head, and lived to tell about it.
   She's not afraid of me.
   She seems to hate Angel about as much as I do. The enemy of my enemy and all that..

The Winner: She took an axe to my head, and lived to tell about it.

It probably made her feel all manly...

GUEST THEME BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.

How does Giles deal with his laundry?

   He does the laundry every Saturday morning at 4 am, what else has he got to do?
   He has a pickup service.
   He sends it over to Joyce to do.
   He lets Willow practice her clean clothing spells on it.

The Winner: Looks like Giles has got a date every Sat. am..doing the laundry.

This is probably what Amy's thought about most during her rat-mode:

   How much damage she's going to inflict on Willow when she loses her rat status.
   Cheese tastes different when you're a rat.
   How slim she's going to be from all that wheel-workout time she's been logging.
   How she'll never call on Hecate for this again.

The Winner: Cheese tastes different when you're a rat.

Man, you people never heard of holding a grudge? Oh well..

Angel: "The thing people don't seem to realize about me is":

   I enjoy living with my eternal torment.
   I own two fondue makers, and they're portable.
   I secretly own the Bronze.
   How much I'd enjoy being invited to play darts.

The Winner: How much I'd enjoy being invited to play darts.

From the vamp himself! Ha..I laugh. I laugh more. See!!! Heh?

What Was Your Favorite (possibly Buffy-themed) Episode This Season (Or Other Seasons..)?

Then finally, your non-dingo-guided opinion about the episodes. The ones you guys dug the most are, in no particular order, the following:

The Zeppo
Lovers Walk
Becoming part 2
Prophecy Girl
The Wish

Those were the ones most often mentioned. There were some others...and some of you even decided to share why/why not an ep. was your fave or among your faves..

Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all. But here're some of 'em. Hope the authors don't mind. Some may be abridged so I could put more of 'em up..Oh! And still more I wanted to credit this week had no names on 'em, and I don't know about you, but I'm still sick of that guy "Anonymous" getting all the credit..Plus I have to grin at the folks who addressed Buffy..hey, she's the one who asked, right??

Simply Lisa said: Well Buffy, I'd have to say "Amends", Willow was getting jigga with Oz and also, why in the world did Xander sleep outside? Doesn't he realize by now that there are vampires and things that go bump in the night out there?

Well...seems like someone else dug that ep, for different (though still entirely worthy) reasons. Heh.

MadHatter said:..."Amends" gave me a happy as well--it's always amusing to watch David try to manage that accent through the fangs. Ha.

Queen Vamp said: Band Candy - Principal hitting on Joycie - gross out! Then you just know what Ripper and Joycie did on that cop car - gives new meaning to "cherry lights a'blazing" doesn't it.

Heh. It would, if I knew what that meant. Oy. So I'm not hip. Or smart. Heh.

Erin said: Although there are the twisted affairs of Cordy & Xander, and Willow and Oz: really the most interesting things happen when Buffy and the unholy Billy the bloody (Spike to the uninitiated) join forces. Buffster. Love's blood children... got any of those little marshmallows hilary?

Darn, I just gave them to that callous and strange Willow..

From CalliAnn: Let's see...a tossup between the fondue-making episode and that extra special dart tournament eppy...Okay, okay, my favorite eppy was The Wish, cause it was so evil...And it made me cry. Okay. I'm done now. Time to eat cheese.


Colleen said: I've just got to say something about the zeppo. What was up with Sarah's hair? I usually envy her hair, but not this episode. I know that the messy, tousled hair look is in, but it looked more like my hair. Background on my hair: its equilivent to the hair of a person who stuck their finger in an electrical outlet.

Heh. Yikes.

If you want to see what Bark Bytes have come before, visit The Bark Bytes Archives or Dingo Action Archives..I forgot what I named's pretty small right now. Actually I remember what I named it this time. But we all know how I enjoy running gags. Be sure to take this week's Dingo Action!

Friendly reminder: If you've filled out the bottom part about the site before, no need to again..but leave your name if you don't mind..I like to know who said what! Plus, you could be featured on this page. Okay that's probably more of a deterrent, but hey.

Dingo Action!

The 411/Mythology

The 511/Relationships

The 611/Slayerships

The ABCs of Sunnydale

The Episodes


What's New

Main Entrance

Missing Lynx

This page last updated on April 28, 1999.