The ABCs of Sunnydale

Pork 'n' Beans Vamp (aka Faux Anointed One):

Debut -- Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (Season 1)

Died Same Episode

Pork Vamp is first seen as a "normal" guy on a bus. Why "normal"? Because he's not a vamp when we first see him, but he's spouting off some religious-type ramblings and making a nuisance of himself. The driver tells him to sit down, and the guy keeps rattling on about Judgment Day, yada yada. Next thing we know, the bus driver tries to avoid hitting someone -- one of The Master's vamps -- and crashes. The vamps go inside the bus to do their thing.

Later, Giles has a newspaper that chronicles the accident and we learn that the biblical weirdo, whose real name is Andrew Borba, was wanted by the police for questioning in connection with a double murder. So this leads Giles to believe that he must be The Anointed. At the funeral home (where they'll take care of the rest..), Owen notices that the body on the table is moving...yep, it's Biblical Guy come back as a vampire. He may be undead, but he's still way too much into the biblical rantings. See below for quotes. At this point, he also adds in the fact that he can smell the gang. He says, "Pork 'n' beans, pork 'n' beans, I can smell you!" Anyhoo, he goes after Buffy and when Owen tries to protect her, the Pork Vamp tries to bite him on the neck. Owen smashes an urn over Pork's head, and Pork seems to be taken care of...but then he comes to and bangs Owen's head against a metal door. As Owen slumps to the ground, Pork looks at Buffy and says, "He was found wanting."

Buffy thinks Owen is dead, and gives Pork Vamp a good fight, which ends with his being shoved into the cremation/incinerator thing. No more Pork 'n' Beans Vamp.

Vamp Dress Comparison:

Pork was one of the more colorful vamps we've seen on the show. He wore a necklace, no shirt, and army-type pants. Plus, he could smell the gang.

For more vamp dress comparisons, see also: Absalom, Dalton, The Gorch Brothers, The Three, and Mr. Trick.

Pork's Favorite Lines:

"Why does he hurt me?" -- supposedly to himself or some voice in his head, as he recoils from the cross Giles holds up to him.

"Are you willing to stand with the righteous?" -- to the bus driver, when he's told to sit down.

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Special thanks to Zak Zandarah for pics of Pork and Owen!

This page last updated July 13, 1998