This Week's Barks

Theme 12
Music to Watch By?


"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we were in double reruns, so I did yet another Random Type D.A. Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

cemetery Of the ones here, the best episode in terms of Buffy/Giles bonding:

   Never Kill A Boy On The First Date
   The Dark Age
   Innocence
   Passion
   Helpless

The Winner: Helpless

Because, as with all good bonding, you need to first drug someone, lose their trust, then get fired before they appreciate you. Heh.


If it were ever Giles's birthday, Buffy would:

   Speak proper English for an entire day.
   Drag the G-man out to the Bronze.
   Request a Bay City Rollers marathon from the local dj.
   Flatter Giles about his tweed.

The Winner: Drag the G-man out to the Bronze.

Because he likes to party with the students.


In her spare time, Joyce:

   Hides fertility statues from Buffy..
   Binges on waffles.
   Sells juice.
   Bogarts the cheesy chips.

The Winner: Bogarts the cheesy chips.

What's up with that?


The show's gone downhill when:

   A Yoda-like puppet gets a main role.
   An Alf-like puppet gets a main role.
   An Alf-like puppet gets a main role...and more lines than Oz.
   Mrs. Summers has another kid.
   Every episode ends with a rousing game of darts.

The Winner: An Alf-like puppet gets a main role...and more lines than Oz.

Maybe if Oz had more fur, or wolfed out more often..


Nobody knows that Willow:

   Used to collect overalls.
   Strung her dead goldfish to a knob in her closet.
   Can guzzle a six-pack of Jolt.
   Has a secret crush on Jonathan.
   Has a secret crush on Devon.

The Winner: Can guzzle a six-pack of Jolt.

Okay, maybe she can. But she shouldn't.


RERUN BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.

The monkey gets to wear pants because:

   Hey, the French are stylish.
   A skirt would look silly.
   Have you ever tried to dress a hippo?

The Winner: Have you ever tried to dress a hippo?


Buffy might put this into a time capsule:

   Creme rinse.
   One of her many coats.
   A stake. You never know when one'll be needed.
   Wesley.

The Winner: Wesley.


Willow might put this into a time capsule:

   A Palm Pilot.
   Shackles.
   Amyrat.
   Her mother.

The Winner: Her mother.


Music to Watch By?

This week, I asked you two questions, you could answer either or both. Question 1: Knowing that Willow refused to go to the Spring Fling with Xander (season 1), do you think it makes sense that she'd put that ice cream/espresso foam/whatever on her nose in WSWB (when they were at the Bronze)? Why or why not?

Question 2: What kind of music do they play at Watchers Council retreats?

Most of you thought that yes, Willow's action made sense, given the summer she and Xander had together, what with Buffy's being gone, thinking maybe she had a chance. I realize that this was a way boring question to put up, but hey, like I was pressed for time. Question 2 had more fun answers. Lots of you went with classical, a few of you said Bay City Rollers...etc. So...let's see what we've got this week, byte-wise. Since there was little to no variation on the Q1 answers, I'm only posting one answer; the rest will be Music to Watch By...

But first -- Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all, but this week I'm posting a lot. Don't know if I will post lots when the new season (er, hey, Earshot!) runs. Hope the authors don't mind being put up here, and some may be abridged. And again, no name, no bark byte recognition (even though I still like reading what you thought; make it easy on me and put a name on there, please! Thanks!)

Wiccan Cat said:

...maybe Willow just did the espresso foam thing because her nose was cold.

Music To Watch By Starts Here!

Video Elf said:

Iron Maiden and AC/DC.

From Devinistan:

They play the British national anthem, non-stop.

Cathren said:

Call me strange but I envision the Watcher's Council cavorting about to the Nutcracker Suite, complete with tutus.

From Rachel R.:

I seriously think that the Watchers Council listens to hard core ghetto rap. Nah, everyone knows they like their Muzak and that Kenny G and his twinkling sax and Yanni and his Jesus robes are real faves, but the thought of a bunch of Watchers waddling around in big pants throwing gang signs at each other just amused me in my own strange little way. Think maybe they could get in touch with their rebellious, young Slayers this way?? Maybe if Giles had been a little more "hip to the ways of the street" Faith wouldn't have turned out the way she did. Just a thought.

Skatie said:

I'm thinkin' disco. These people are soooo straight-laced in their day-to-day lives. They MUST live it up at some point. And really, does it get any better than the music and clothes of the late 70's/early 80's? Polyester, throbbing beats, sexually charged lyrics; all that is missing from their drab everyday lives.

I could be wrong. Might be classical. They may feel their lives are very full and that tweed is a good fashion statement.

From MadHatter:

They play lots and lots of Marilyn Manson, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, KISS...Ha, just kidding. Muzak versions of Emerson Lake and Palmer, perhaps?

Paul said:

Knowing the Watcher muckamucks we've met, I bet they play either Muzak or marching music from the Queen's Horse Guard.

Kristin said:

Every existing version of the British National Anthem existing....that or ABBA.

From chemistrygirl:

They play a variety of music from the Donna Summer collection, as well as from the archives of The Commodores (with and without Lionel Ritchie). They get down with their funky selves at those retreats, doncha know?!?

From Rachel (Cicely):

They play Hanson, to show the Watchers what *real* evil is.

From Ophelia the Fruitfly Slayer:

I personally think they all secretly like the Backstreet Boys and other sucky generic boy bands.

From FurryRabbits:

....They probably have someone attempting to play harmonica at those Watchers Council retreats... they all want to be Bob Dylan (heh).

From Winnie the Witch:

...a lot of Perry Como...

From *Beep*:

...I'm getting the feeling of...Beach Boys, strangely enough.

From Queen C:

The Watchers Council secretly enjoys Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, and the Doors. But don't tell anyone, they'll kill me for divulging their privileged info. Thanx!

Sorry, Queen C! Share, share, that's fair...right? Heh.

sugarushed said:

I'm going to be a rebel and answer neither question, and instead I'm going to take cruel advantage of this opportunity to point out that any Alf-like puppet- or anything else- that got a main role would inevitably have more lines than Oz. In fact, a puppet with a minor role would get more lines than Oz. In fact, a mute puppet would get more lines than Oz. C'mon, the Judge probably got more lines than Oz ever has, despite being a not very chatty demon. I mean, we get the picture. Oz is a quiet guy. That doesn't mean he can't speak! Okay, now that I'm done venting, an Alf-like costume is *already* a main character, if you count the weresuit...and it has more lines than Oz. Well, it growls a lot. That counts.

From Redbeard:

Wagner & Beethoven, for that epic "it's the end of the world [as we know it...heh.] if we fail" feeling. (However, at the Saturday night mixers it's all early Beatles, Bay City Rollers, and Gerry & the Pacemakers. "Ferry, 'cross the Mersey...")

What, no Peter & Gordon?

From Steph:

They play Korn. I'm serious. Deep down, Giles is still Ripper. The librarian gig is just for show.

Okay I don't believe I've heard anything by Korn, but apparently, they have a following...

Lydia said:

...I think that the Watchers Council likes to play Jay-Z and KoRN so they can get all get their groove thing on.


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This page last updated on September 15, 1999.

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