This Week's Barks


"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we saw Superstar, and a bunch of dingo action players. Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

cemetery Jonathan:

   Does bear a keen resemblance to Keanu Reeves.
   Really wrote the Cliffs Notes version of "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
   Puts a good bottle of mousse to shame.
   Should have no regrets...after all, he went to the Prom.

The Winner: Really wrote the Cliffs Notes version of "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

He's also in a band called Dogstar, but that's a non-sequitur.

A more appropriate tune than Serenade in Blue might have been:

   Ain't misbehavin'.
   Sing, sing, sing (with a swing).
   Let the good times roll.
   Take on me.

The Winner: Take on me.

Now that's a shocker. I'd have thought "Ain't misbehavin'" but what do I know.

It's interesting that:

   Jonathan's ideal includes two live-in blondes.
   Buffy got good relationship advice..and plans to use it.
   The monster looked sort of like a hellhound.
   Adam's vampire henchman sounded like a guy from Felicity.

The Winner: Buffy got good relationship advice..and plans to use it.

Pretty much a gimme.

If Larry had been the superstar:

   Football would have an eleven-month season.
   He wouldn't be dead.
   Everyone would want to come out, too.
   He'd have cured the Amyrat.

The Winner: He wouldn't be dead.

Then again, this is the Hellmouth...

I want to know:

   When Xander will cease to be window dressing.
   When Anya will get over the sex thing.
   When Jonathan will be made a regular.
   When Oz will return.
   Where Forrest was.

The Winner: When Xander will cease to be window dressing.

Better than surgical dressing, anyway.

NEW EPISODE BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.


   Should dump Riley and go out with Jonathan.
   Should dump Riley and go out with Tara.
   Should dump Riley and go out with Adam.
   Is just fine, okay?

The Winner: Is just fine, okay?

This episode:

   Had a really deep hidden meaning. In fact, what was it?
   Scores big points for the opening credits gag.
   Proved that even short idiots can have their day.
   Needed an Angel cameo..who wouldn't want to see Angel worship Jonathan?
   Seems to have introduced a new Initiative character. Hm.

The Winner: Scores big points for the opening credits gag.


   Would have died if she recalled interrogating Jonathan...twice.
   Is usually one of the first to doubt Buffy.
   Should start boning up on her computer skills...she's slipping.
   Should fashion a rival for Adam out of the Ted parts she kept.

The Winner: Should fashion a rival for Adam out of the Ted parts she kept.

What Did You Think of This Episode?

Then finally, your non-dingo-guided opinion about the episode. Some loved, some hated, some thought just so-so. Also comments on the (un?)bearable shirtlessness of Riley, the world of bubba gump shrimp, and the gang. Also I noticed the RileyBashers were out in full force this week. "What does it take to please you people?" Heh.

So...let's see what we've got this week, byte-wise.

But first -- Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all, but this week I'm posting a big massively huge amount. Hope the authors don't mind being put up here, and some may be abridged. And again, no name, no bark byte recognition (even though I still like reading what you thought; make it easy on me and put a name on there, please! Thanks!)

ash said:

I can't believe Jonathan said *he* invented the internet! Everyone knows that *I* invented the internet!!!

I was very happy that Riley actually believed Buffy!! Kinda points out that he's not really a member of the Scooby Gang.

From Sam62477:

I like the episode. It was weird. It was not a typical Buffy show. Was it scary to anyone else that Jonathan's singing made Xander want to have sex too. And what was it that Xander and Riley thought Jonathan had augmented?

From Will-Freak:

All I can say is that Jonathan gives all us shorties a big boost. He's shorter than SMG and she's only 5'2"!

northern wolfie said:

What have we learned from this ep, children? That magicks don't work on annoying Baby Adam. Hmmmm

kailen said:

I liked the episode, but found it confusing. Where has Jonathan been all this time? Is Anya living with Xander or was this part of the Jonathan reality? Does anyone ever attend class? [Of course not, silly.] The person who found Tara injured in the broom closet didn't call campus security or something? How did Jonathan make Xander feel better about himself? I didn't get that at all.

My favorite: "We didn't like being your little sock puppets." "No! You weren't socks!"

Pixie said:

I *wanted* to like it... and at first, I was highly amused. Danny Strong did a fantastic job, and the Being Jonathan Levinson poster cracked me up... but the rest of it just seemed kind-of tired. The "Oh he's so perfect/dreamy" got old about half-way through the episode and the alternate universe thing has already been done.

But I got a big smile on my face when I saw the Dingoes ate my Baby poster. Reminded me of Oz, who I'd really like to see again soon.

Dodge said:

Brilliant! The opening credits are easily on my list of all-time favorite Buffy moments.

Mabel said:

I love Jonathan!! I've been wondering what happened to him all season. And putting in shots of him during the opening credits was genius! I'm still waiting for a good rest-of-the-season villain, though. Aah, what I wouldn't give for a good ceremony to bring the Master back. [Sob! The Master! He was my Larry before Larry was..well, Larry.]

From Grub:

Not as good as I expected.

QYV said:

Brilliantly written by Jane Espenson, but stolen by Danny Strong's wonderful portrayal of the suddenly suave and debonair Jonathon. Not as over the top as I expected, either.

From Green Armadillo:

Notice the recurring theme from "Fear, Itself" of Giles telling Xander not to do things? "Xander, don't mock the fear demon." "Xander, don't speak in Latin to the books."

From Winnie the witch:

I have to say that one of the best scenes in this week's episode was Spike fondling Buffy. This season they have in a sense brought into the open something that perverted viewers such as myself already suspected: Spike has a thing for the slayer. After all he can't help being attracted to someone with those looks and fighting skills. And in a weird way Buffy and Spike have a lot in common: They're both kickass fighters, both blonde and gorgous, and both of them are characterized by a certain impulsiveness and tendency to act on emotion and instinct rather than rational thought.

From jupiter lust:

I thought this episode kind of sucked my ass. [That was new.] What the hell was the point of it? I want more Faith!!! And can someone tell me why both Riley and Adam are still alive?! This whole Initiative thing is pissing me off!! It's been dragging on for way too long.

Misse said:

Personally, I'd have been a lot angrier if my boyfriend had slept with somebody else, but I don't have to deal with an enemy who can switch bodies.

From Randie-Scarlett:

I'm still wondering why Giles has Jonathan's swimsuit calendar. It's obvious it wasn't a gift. And does anyone know where I can get one?

Deb said:

Great to see Jonathan again. Had to LOL at the opening credits -- loved the continuity with the entire episode! :) only question is, if Jonathan was right about how to fix Buffy's relationship, was he also right about Adam?? I say, bring on the geiger counters!

Rachel (Cicely) said:

::sigh:: They can do so much better. The only good parts were the Jonathaned credits and the "you weren't socks, you were my friends." line.

jua the vampire slayer said:

HEEHHEE I thought they were gonna rename it "Jonathan The Vampire Slayer".

Plus I prefer a world entirely of shrimp.

Cordystoy said:

Kinda of an off-track episode...Jonathan issues much????? Must have had a really good therapist after his suicide stuff.

Xander needs a life or kill him off, to put everybody out of his misery...except for the sex with Anya...what does he do?

....Looks like more Initiative trouble; I think Angel will have to come back to deal with that issue..and rid us of Riley who's starting to annoy me.

Adam seems pretty deep -- what are his goals? Is he gonna be another evil demon foiled by incompetent assistants?

Rachel R. said:

Okay, this episode was just kinda dumb... why does Buffy always act like a total ditz when they put her in weird scenerios like this? Like in the episode where she was marrying Spike... she acted like a total airhead and she was doing that same vapid look in this one too!!

ARGH, KILL RILEY!! Please, never, ever show him shirtless again or I may kill myself.:)

RicT said:

Cool. Really funny. Reminded me of The Zeppo - people either got it, accepted the Alt.Universe deal and liked it or they thought it was stupid. All the sight gags - the Jonathan/Shaq poster were hilarious.

It sorta bugs me though, that a half-rate Warlock wannabe like Jonathan who hasn't had any training can change the entire BuffyVerse! Or is that just life on the Hellmouth?

wyoluvr said:

It was digustingly horrid, especially in light of the fact that for the next two weeks we're getting nothing but reruns, rotten bastards.

Don't get me wrong; I loved the use of Jonathan, and I was expecting to at least get some sort of mild amusement out of the ep. Instead, I got 45 minutes full of crap, and it seemed like the entire ep served one purpose - to give Buffy relationship advice.

I am sick of the Riley show. Yes, I do detest the Riley and Buffy relationship. They have no chemistry, and it's boring, and I struggle to not turn the channel. The character himself I'm not totally hating, but it's getting close.

From Fnord:

Magic is getting way too easy to do in the Buffyverse. If spellcasting was as easy as Xander saying a few words of latin near a book, everyone would know magic is as real as electricity.

It's time for the return of the 'Ted parts'.

AJ said:

Why must we see leather pants every week on Buffy or Angel? Does anyone in real life actually wear them? NO! [Actually I saw this chick wearing 'em in this bagel shop the other day. It surprised me.]

Leia said:

I really loved this episode. It got away from the whole Initiative thing quite so much, though it was still there. What I really, really enjoyed was that the Gang seemed to be functioning more as a team. Even though it was in the Jonathanverse.

The running gags were great, as was the suspense.

Also, can I just say how much I loved Anya in this episode? Her feeble attempts at being human were hilarious, though it is interesting that she "recognized" Buffy's self-doubt and attempted to make her feel better.

Ula said:

I actually thought Xander wasn't window dressing. I was cheering for the monster to kill Tara. I'm sorry, but Tara and Willow are not appealing.

SNeaker said:

A great fun filler episode, I love it that this show has the ability to laugh at itself. I miss my Xander very much though- when are we going to see angry Xander or take-charge Xander again? Tara for once didn't get on my nerves, but Willow did - is she ever going to get her personality back? I want to see Willow babble and be goofy!!

Kyla said:

The shots of Jonathan in the credits were great. It's really fascinating how a long black trench coat makes *anyone* look actively good. (Maybe we've all been fooled into thinking that Angel's hot because of the coat and the hair...nah.)

I was very amused that even the guys were attracted to Jonathan. And Tara and Willow are just *the* cutest couple. And why was Riley not wearing his shirt when he was talking to Buffy? Gratuitous chest/back shot, anyone? But that definitely was good advice Jonathan gave Buffy.

Nykolai said:

I loved this episode, though at the beginning I was confused whether or not this was a completely stand alone episode or fit into the current story arc. But I loved seeing so much Jonathan, I've missed him! And when Riley and Jonathan were standing next to each other, I sooo cracked up....However, it was a bit weird to hear Buffy say any name at all during her making out with Riley scene, and then she said Jonathan! Spike and Buffy looked all sexy with each other which was funny and disturbing. And the fact that Adam knew that things weren't right was creepy. Though he should have used the confused time to his advantage.

CandRach2 said:

I loved this episode. It was so funny how they kept using some sort of James Bond music when Jonathan was fighting or saying something about how he'd handle it. I was suprised that they started the ep. with Johnathan's so-called universe. But I had figured it was because when Buffy was saying how she could take two vamps. I was like, she could fight way more than five! So I guess it had to be huh. It was cute at the end when Jonathan was just standing there with his hands in his pockets.

I'm REALLY getting sick of Adam. I mean, do they always have to show him in an episode. AND he's not even scary!! I was wondering where Forrest was though. And I LOVED it when Jonathan sang. Who knew he had such a good voice? [Actually, that wasn't really Danny's voice, but he's a top-notch lip-syncher, eh? It's this guy who played Tucker Wells in season 3's The Prom episode, I think.]

A bonus in this episode was when Richard (from Felicity) was a vampire. First was wondering why his voice was so familiar then I saw him and screamed. [They should keep him around, he makes a good comic foil for Adam or whatever. Yeesh. Almost Daltonesque...(that vamp, Dalton)]

And while watching this ep. I had wished that Buffy would have at least stayed mad at Riley for a little longer. I mean it wasn't necessarily his fault about the Faith thing. But I think if you really loved someone you'd know if it's not them inside. Angel would have known!! Overall I give this episode an A. But I could have used without the whole Buffy-Riley kissage. Oh well.

Tacy said:

I wonder whether Willow prefers cloth napkins over paper ones for use at an orgy of death.

pg said:

Well a new Buffy is better than another rerun although this was kind of a funny pale imitation of The Wish. Am wondering though what was the significance of the Shrimp references?

Ophelia the Fruitfly Slayer said:

There's just one thing I'm wondering: Why didn't Buffy invite Jonathan over to sit with the gang at the end? I mean, she's supposed to be all magnanimous, and she doesn't even have the decency to invite a lonely, hurting schmuck to sit over on the grass with her friends. [Bonus points for use of the word 'schmuck.'] What kind of role model is that?

All in all, it was great to see Jonathan again after so long. I've really missed him this season. And I really like all the little twists on reality ("You talked about it when you gave him the Class Protector award at the prom").

Holly said:

I thought it was a great episode. Is it just me or does it seem that this season Buffy's ideas about what's causing things to go on every one pooh-pooh's her and then when it's almost too late the whole gang and Giles are like, oh, yeah you're right. I also loved her encounter with Spike in this episode. The way to get to a vamp's heart is straight through his blood supplier.

kathgs said:

Buffy should dump Riley, period!! He contributes nothing. They should get rid of him and give Xander more to do. His timidity and fray-adjecency used to be funny because he WAS effective when he had to be--now it's just pathetic.

Question: how come Jonathan didn't realize that he could keep the more attractive hair style even after he reverted to whiny-man? [Because he's a schmuck, see above. Heh.]

Queen Vamp said:

Cool to see Jonathan again - after all he was in every season somewhere - simpering little weasel that he is!!!!!! [Didn't you hear? "I thought you nothing more than a weasel, boy. Congratulations. You've just been schmuck." Ok sorry, I get started on something, I can't let's an issue. And apologies to Luke, for stealing his speech from The Harvest.]

Buffy has to get over the Faith issue thing - geesh. If she doesn't she will always have "issues" and die lonely slayer.

Adam is just too creepy - shades of Silence of the Lambs in that one. And whyyyyy do they always go to the vamps to get sidekicks, can't he be more original. Maybe make his own little friend?

Devinistan said:

....Some great little switches, too, my favorite being the reference to when Buffy gave Johnathon the "Class Protector" award at Prom. Man, I hope it was different then the one she got. I can't quite see Jonathon accepting that frilly umbrella. [Oh, come on, he's a classy guy. You know he'd accept it politely.]

The last scene was sweet, too. I absolutely felt Jonathan's pain, but even after that, he still wanted to help out Buffy. He's the kind of guy I'd hang out with and try to set up with every single girl I know. [Ahem. Heh.]

Oh, and I also had to agree with Xander - man, Jonathan did have nice clothes in that world.

Ciri said:

Okay, not one of the best, but definitely one of the more amusing. I kept expecting it to actually be an alternate universe, even after that idea was squashed. I wonder, though - what kind of counselor gives away life-altering magical spells to their clients? Chalk it up to the whole 'it's Sunnydale' thing, I guess... Poor Xander. His hero's a fake. <g> I still get a kick out of his gullibility.

Kiersten said:

God! It seems to me that they use Spike for nothing more than a weekly scene where he has a semi-sexual scene with Buffy where he promises a huge encounter. They took the trouble to bring him onto the show, they should use him. I'm happier with Spike's one appearence on the show last season than I am with his being in every episode this one.

Daltrey said:

First, I loved all the James Bond musical interludes (big horns!). Plus, it's good to know that someone makes suave suits for short dudes. Why did the general guy in the Initiative look kinda like Jesse Ventura meets Ming The Merciless?....Also, between Tara and Willow and the whole "Everybody Loves Jonathan" vibes coming from Giles and Xander, I haven't seen that many homoerotic undertones flying across the screen since uh..."Top Gun" (seriously they are there). Lastly, did you notice when Jonathan was cool that his eyes were open wider? He had the whole French Stewart squinty thing going on in the last scene. Or maybe it was a little sunny at UC Sunnydale or something.

rubyluna said:

Yes...Let us just reiterate..."When will Xander cease to be window dressing"??????!!!! I miss the guy.

Well, I don't know...I wait and I wait and I wait...and this is the episode i get? It was cute and chuckley and all...but I was a wee bit disgruntled. I want some action. I did think it was great that EVERYONE seemed to be in love with Jonathan...including the men. (Giles having the swimsuit calender...Xander happily agreeing to sex after Jonathan's little serenade.) So, I guess Jonathan's perfect world is a bisexual one.... Hey..fine by me. I couldn't agree more. Did anyone else notice the amazing chemistry between Spike and Buffy???? yyyeeeeoooowwww. Riley gone yet? [Geez. Everyone is riding the "Riley Bites" patrol tonite. Why is no one riding the Angel Bites patrol anymore? Heh. Angel bites. Get it? Er, never mind.]

Jaime said:

....I must comment on the music. I LOVED the score to this episode. It made it all.. I dunno, seem kiiiinda-but-not-really an old 40's movie or something. I especially loved the music to Spike's first scene. When Jonathan looked into the lurk-yness, and when he comes out.. the music kicked ass!! :)

Jane, the Frog on the Wall said:

....How are we going to kill Adam? Beheading's out, rocket launcher and many explosives have been done...what can you do? Tell him how he works, his brain overloads and he dies?

And, on a different note, somebody should really explore Anya's thing with shrimp...we could have a 'Character Issues' episode. You know...Willow and frogs, Anya with shrimp and bunnies, Xander with weird women, Buffy with weird men, Angel with darts...oops, that's Hilary. [Gasp!] Nyeh, laugh at my poor jokes.

belle said:

Okay, not great. A couple of prime scenes, though: Anya's very strained attempts to be civil to Buffy had me rolling, and what's up with her shrimp obsession? I think this is a theme which needs to be explored further. Also the Bronze scene--I enjoyed them having a retro night for once! And I really enjoyed the way everybody, I mean *everybody* got all swoony over Jonathan (Xander's facial expression was priceless, and Giles..."It was a gift.")

Also, as a general comment, I finally have to say this: All y'all who keep on wringing your virtual hands about how there's too much sex on Buffy, gay, straight, and in-between...what is *with* you people? Speaking as a member of (I *assume?!*) the silent majority, or at least a mostly silent minority, I'm thrilled to my toes by 1) Willow/Tara (yes, Virginia, that was a metaphorical sex scene, and it was lovely), 2) Buffy and Riley's athletic sexiness together, 3) Anya and Xander's extremely physical relationship, 4) the leather factor and 5) all of the little double-entendres and sexy subtext that the writers manage to throw to those of us who enjoy such things, without interfering with the clean, healthy, redblooded American storylines about death and violence and monsters in the slightest. Thank you. [Is it too Mel Brooks of me to say, "You're welcome"? Heh.]

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