This Week's Barks

Beer Bad

"...the votes are in, and it's time for my concession speech." -- So said Xander himself.

This past week, we saw Beer Bad, and yay, many dingo action players. Thanks for playing, you nifty people! (er, good dingoes?)..Now, here's what y'all said:

cemetery I should have known:

   That Xander's seen Cocktail before.
   That "Fire bad, tree pretty" was just foreshadowing.
   That Giles would have a small part.
   That chick was a werewolf.

The Winner: That "Fire bad, tree pretty" was just foreshadowing.

Muss be some kinda new philosophy.

The first thing I thought when the guys went Cro-mag was:

   Where's Angel?
   Where's Spicoli?
   Give Angel a wig, and...
   What, no knucklewalkers?

The Winner: What, no knucklewalkers?

Sunnydale Zoo, anyone?


   Is starting to grow on me.
   Could be a werewolf, too.
   Really does take up a lot of space.
   Grades papers like nobody's business.

The Winner: Really does take up a lot of space.

But perhaps he's willing to let Buffy invade it?

How come:

   The bartender guy just up and told Xander everything, like it was nothing?
   There's never any campus police around when you need 'em?
   That girl's sandwich looked so perfectly put together?
   Buffy drank beer, after that whole Reptile Boy thing?
   Giles came onto the scene really late into the show?
   Larry's dead?

The Winner: The bartender guy just up and told Xander everything, like it was nothing?

Robert Stack could probably tell us why...on Unsolved Mysteries.


   Probably knows gullible is in the dictionary.
   Could minor in women's studies.
   Still hasn't given us the skinny on the Amyrat.
   Owes her grilling technique to Jonathan.

The Winner: Still hasn't given us the skinny on the Amyrat.

Maybe Amy kicked the bucket over the summer.

NEW EPISODE BONUS -- the title just breaks it up a little.

The best scenes in this ep. were:

   The ones with Willow and Parker.
   Any of the ones with Xander.
   The Cave Buffy scenes.
   Buffy's daydreams in class.

The Winner: The ones with Willow and Parker.

I like the fact that:

   The show still sticks by its "Smoking Bad" theme.
   I could spend my whole life trying to satisfy my id.
   Primitive Buffy can still kick ass.
   They're trying to work Xander onto the campus more.

The Winner: They're trying to work Xander onto the campus more.

The music in this ep.:

   Could have been better.
   Dude, like, it rocked.
   Should have included Van Morrison's Brown-Eyed Girl.
   Should have included "In the Days of the Caveman" (Crash Test Dummies).

The Winner: Should have included "In the Days of the Caveman" (Crash Test Dummies).

What Did You Think of This Episode?

Then finally, your non-dingo-guided opinion about the episode. Again, kind of a split. Some of you dug this ep. a lot, some of you found it to be boring or a recycled plot line from Season 1 (i.e., The Pack). Most of you wanted Parker to die, Buffy to move on, and Giles to be in the 'sode for longer. And no one liked Veruca. Also, some empathy and suggestions for Jua the Vampire Slayer came in..(if you recall, last week Jua mentioned that friends kept calling and interrupting the show, etc. Basically, JtVS missed the ep.) Those suggestions, etc. are included below as well.

So...let's see what we've got this week, byte-wise.

But first -- Standard disclaimer: Can't post 'em all, but this week I'm posting a good number. Hope the authors don't mind being put up here, and some may be abridged. And again, no name, no bark byte recognition (even though I still like reading what you thought; make it easy on me and put a name on there, please! Thanks!)

T said:

Are we at least over Parker?

From Rachel R.:

Ugh, this was just... bad.

From *Beep*:

This was a good episode, all in all. The whole "Cave Buffy" was an interesting concept. But Veruca...Die! And what about that Bar tender? Why didn't anything happen to him? Hmmm...

Alye said:

Not a bad ep., but I'm not looking forward to more of that vapid Juliana Hatfield clone Veruca.

Sunny said:

Let me explain it to you. I didn't see the point till a few of my guy friends explained it to me. This was the whole point of this episode: Buffy's hair looked sexy...

Don't get me wrong, it had good moments... like Buffy knocking Parker out (twice!) and Willow getting in touch with her ironic self. And there were flaws. Like, how come Buffy didn't turn into full-blown Neanderthal woman? But there was no substance to this episode. I mean, what did we learn, don't annoy the bartender?

So, it was all about making boys salivate. Anyway, it's a theory, right?

There may be something to that theory after all...

Bri said:

Bad. Just bad. And bad, did I mention that? No plot, no continuity. Although Buffy's hair looked cool. For once she probably did it herself.

skatie said:

Beer bad...especially if you're under the legal drinking age. My biggest question is "Why did Xander let Buffy drink?" It's not like either of them is legal. Giles definitely had a point when he said it was still beer. I really liked the whole "Parker bad" bit and "Wanna see people".

Will-Freak said:

It was weird! But I liked. Funny as always "I want the people. I want the people!" I don't have anything insiteful. It was just average, but weird. I have three words for Buffy and they better stick: GET OVER PARKER. Cuz while you are moaning and groaning the viewers out in the real world are getting bored and don't care.

From Lydia:

I swear maybe Angel's lying to us and he is deluded about his age and he is a Neanderthal Vampire...that was very scary when they all got his forehead.

Other than that, Buffy is turning into Felicity. When I saw her a cavewoman with curly hair I got VERY scared that she was [going to] put on a sweater and make indecisiveness neurosis a national pastime.

CalliAnn said:

....Okay, not that this has to do with Buffy, but November 6th is National Nacho Day. Honest. I just mention it cause...well, nachos. (or, nachoes, as Dan Quayle and I like to call them).

From katie:

After Buffy said 'fire bad' I half expected her to say 'tree pretty.' And when Giles and Xander burst into Buffy and Willow's dorm, by the look on their faces, I seriously thought they had just walked in on Oz and Willow doing something that shall remain nameless. COUGHCOUGHsexCOUGHCOUGH.

Rob said:

Hilarious episode... the ending was classic Buffy stuff. However, I'm getting really sick and tired of Buffy being so unhappy. The show is getting waaay to depressing. It's time to lighten up a bit, Joss... for God sakes, the girl is in college!

From slothgirl:

I liked this ep...although the bartender dude seemed a little too open about putting stuff in the beer, I liked how the "Fire bad" thing showed up in this episode. But what about "tree pretty"?

Grace said:

I kept hoping that Buffy would get a big forehead too, but my disappointment was swept away when she hit Parker in the head with the big stick for the second time.

But, the new Willow/Oz/Veruca storyline... sigh. Wasn't one of the characters in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory named Veruca? Didn't she come to a nasty end? Blueberry Swell Girl, perhaps?

Yep, Veruca was in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory..Veruca Salt was the character...she went down the Bad Egg Chute -- hence an option on the Wild at Heart Dingo Action, heh. Violet was the blueberry puff girl. Heh.

evilgrrl said:

Not the greatest, but it did have some funny moments. I think "TV good" too. And it was cute how Xander kept trying to get a woman to ask for a light and tell him her troubles, but when one actually does, he's on a "Buffy emergency" and holds up the "no smoking" sign. He drops everything for the Buffster, doesn't he?

I also liked how in Buffy's second Parker fantasy, he had his shirt open, and roses and ice cream for her. The best part, though, was when Poop Head finally did ask for Buffy's forgiveness, and Cave Slayer hit him with her stick. I'm glad it was her and not "vulnerable Buffy."

StephanieJane said:

Wouldn't the world be great if you could just repeatedly club the people that hurt your feelings?


Stuck*In*Sunnydale said:

Seems to me that the Buf has done quite a few impulsive things this season. She doesn't seem to be the type to drink with a bunch of fellas she doesn't know. Not judging her, just thought. I thoroughly enjoyed the hell-knocking Parker received. Also, I really think we all knew that Willow's not stupid!

CandRach2 said:

" Hmmph!! Buffy strong! " That whole idea pretty much summed up how great this eppie was. Kinda like Earshot mixed with The Zeppo. Is it just me, or are all the episodes in this season so far heading towards that type of writing? The writers must have figured out which type of episode satisfies the viewers. Well, that or they just get high before cracking the pencils and paper. No, I'm kidding but...maybe? And I hate Veruca Salt or whatever the hell her name is. Isn't she that weird girl from " Can't Hardly Wait"? Well I can't hardly wait for her to get the " hell out of my apartment!!" err...I mean my show!!! Not my show but....."Angel" reference? Oh forget it. Heh.

Meg said:

Did anyone else notice the oddness of Buffy's nose?


From Mark:

My daydreams came true when the Buffster whacked Parker with the stick. The next time I see Parker I want him to be crawling out of his grave and then immediately feeling the business end of Mr. Pointy. Poof! No more Parker.

Isis said:

This episode sucked really bad, so there. Ha ha ha, evil strikes again. Nah nah nah nah boo boo. There was no evil in this episode so there was no plot, buffy is a bigger ditz then i thought she was now. So there.

lizbet said:

I loved this ep!!! Ha ha's all around. At the end I was so into it, my sister came running into my room at my shouts of "Hit him again! Hit him again!" as slimeyboy Parker was apologizing...

Redbeard said:

Starting to get a real sense of "Been there, done that" with this season. The character development stuff is fine, but The Powers That Be need to stop recycling main plots from Season One.

This was the first Buffy episode ever where I had to hide my eyes 'cause I couldn't bear to see what might happen, and I did it twice: when Xander was being scathed by the Cro-Mag in the bar, and when Buffy started looking at the sandwich.

Steph said:

An entire episode centering on beer? How desperate for story ideas can you get? And Buffy's mooning over Parker was just ugh. Listen to Willow, Buff, the guy's a poopyhead. Humour was the only redeeming quality to this ep.

MadHatter said:

Beer bad. Jack Daniels better.

Cave Buffy really amused me. And I think that for the first time ever, I may have to become a Xanderphile. Gimme a few more Xanderific episodes and see where I stand on the subject.

Mabel said:

Buffy in touch with her id, acting like a guy. She should have tried the head bop thing with Angel when he was bad. I gotta say though, I went through a double major as an undergrad (so I was around for a long time) and then a master's degree and I don't ever remember discussing such deep topics over a pitcher of beer. Imitating our professors, yes, but never philosophy. And these guys are going to little UC-Sunnydale?

Devinistan said:

Am I the only person who thought Xander, in his fake I.D., looked a helluva lot like Bruce Campbell (from 'Army of Darkness' and 'Xena' fame)? He had that mustache. And, I think they look alike anyway.

Heh. I think there was a movement of folks lobbying to get B.C. cast as Xander's dad, but alas, I don't think it panned out.

sugarushed said:

Beer doesn't need a special ingredient to make you act like that ("you stupid!" "No, you stupid!"). Seriously, I've heard that conversation before.

Jeff said:

....We see yet another advantage to being the Slayer, you can drink as much magicked beer as the next guy and yet still not be as stupid.

chemistry girl said:

Funny. I lived that beer drinking night in college (perhaps more than once). Xander is becoming my hero this year. "What gave it away?" "Looking at it".

Dodge said:

Beer not bad, beer boring. But at least we're done with Parker. YAY! Now we just need to get some major story-arcage going.

Kyla said:

....What's with Veruca, if that's her name? Bad hair, bad voice, bad music--oh, yeah, I'm digging her. (Oh, yeah, I'm not a male werewolf. My bad.)

MelonCollie said:

Okay, first of all, what is up w/ Buffy!? It's like Faith has possessed her!! She sleeps w/ the first(dare I say cute) guy she talks to, and drinks so much beer that she gets totally wasted!! What ever happened to the Buffy we used to know? I for one, don't know the answer, but will somebody please explain this to me? All in all it was an okay episode, loved the dream sequences in the beginning; and I like Willow telling off dumbass, er Parker.

Wiccan Cat said:

Actually, it was pretty funny, although I wanted to see Buffy with a hairy face like the other guys. I loved it when Buffy was sniffing Xander (it's about time she noticed he's hot), saying, "Boys smell good." Yes they do, Buffy. Actually, that reminded me of me and my boyfriend, which is scary enough in itself.

And might I add, Willow rocks! I wish I had a friend like her.

Catspaw said:

Were those leather pants that she was fighting in during her daydream sequence at the beginning? Talk about dreaming! I've never found leather pants that were THAT stretchy.

Laura A. (because there are so many damn Lauras out there) said:

....Why did everyone react so "feh" to Buffy in "Hey-look-I'm-a-bitchy-college-Prof." Walsh's room? I'm sorry, but if someone stole my sandwich (obviously from a display case at Hickory Hams) I'd be slightly miffed.

Daltrey said:

Maybe I am being paranoid but I am starting to fear that my fave show is recycling old plots from the first season. While I liked the Halloween episode despite it's "Nightmares"ish similarities, this one didn't do much for me. I kept thinking how much better "The Pack" was for exploring the dumb things the male psyche is capable of. Though they did take a moment to include Buffy in the beer-makes-you-grunt scenario. (Though to be fair while beer makes guys cavelike, I've often seen beer make women more giggly and flirty but that's just my chauvinistic opinion). Props to Willow for seeing though Le Parker De Slime. I was worried for a moment that she would end up doing the Bedtime Mambo with him but then I remembered I was not watching 90210 and I breathed a sigh of relief. I'm still feeling of the bad about the while Oz thing though. Urgh.

Then I guess paranoia must be catching...see below.

Gyulah said:

Not among my favorites, but had its moments. Much like "Fear, Itself" was kind of reminiscent of "Nightmares", this one was pretty much a remake of "The Pack". Except instead of a zoo, it was a campus bar. Hmm. Wait. Those do tend to be pretty similar. And of course it was a barkeep instead of a zoo keep. And notice that Buffy was sniffing Xander much like Xander was sniffing her back then. Role reversal much? Although I do find it interesting that the obnoxious beer-boys did act a lot like the hyenas...

Kristin said:

Veruca over Willow? Methinks Oz has been dipping into the Black Frost, too. And yay, Willow grilled Parker. And I must say, she's really improved since Jonathan.

From belle:

Eppy bad, no one pretty.

Slightly oversimplified, but then so was the episode. I *did* like some bits--town-gown tension was sharp--and I like Prof. Walsh as a character, I want to see where they're going with her (clearly somewhere).

Be all that as it may, I don't like Animal House humor. Never did. Sorry. I found the grunting and sniffing cringe-worthy. Buffy works because it's a *witty* show. (Are you listening, Tracy Forbes?)

Willow probably redeemed herself, but I still want to smack her. Maybe it's the smug good girl thing. Maybe it's just the hair.

BA Bitca said:

Hey Willow actually *did* get in Parker's face. [heh. Dingo Action = Prophetic? Nah.]...Willow Power right there. I don't believe he tried using his lines on her. Reminds me a little too much of an ex i have...who also went after my best friend. I say I pull a Buffy and knock him out with something heavy and wooden. That's why I love this show. The INSPIRATION. Oh and I learned that beer, aside from being bad, is also foamy. Neatness.

And finally, a Bark [from a very good dingo] in response to Jua's byte from last time...

Queen C said:

....I need to say since reading the bytes from Fear, Itself, Jua I sympathize completely. My friends never fail to call during Buffy. And before I discovered the power of the VCR u might say I was pretty screwed. For instance, 2 of my friends called me during the last 20 minutes of Beer Bad to whine about boyfriends. And luckily it was recording so as soon as I got rid of them...REWIND. Clue Jua into the VCR, which has become my personal salvation.

If you want to see what Bark Bytes have come before, visit The Bark Bytes Archives or Dingo Action Archives..I forgot what I named it... Actually I remember what I named it this time. But we all know how I enjoy running gags.

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